上星期去看了一位推拿師，去之前已耳聞他摸骨算命的功力，嘴巴和手上的力道一樣直入要害、毫不留情。身旁的朋友都去見過他了，我卻因為忙於演出，拖了好一陣子，心裡其實暗暗擔心他會把我的身體扭壞了，或說出什麼自己無法接受的事實。I went to see a tui-na doctor last week. He had the reputation of knowing one's fortune by feeling one's bones. My friends who had gone to him told stories about how mean his words could be and how brutally he might exert force on the patient's body. I had put off seeing him due to my performances. In fact, I was afraid of how he might change my body in an unfavorable way or if he would say something too shocking for me to hear.
結果並沒有想像中那麼駭人，他所說的話裡最刺耳的大概是：「妳的筋那麼硬，怎麼可能是舞者？」It didn't turn out as scary as I had expected. The thing he said that appeared the harshest was, "You are so stiff. How could you possibly be a dancer?"
一開始我以為他是診斷錯誤，不可置信地大笑，他又認真地說，我的個性就是這樣自以為是、我行我素。一面說，他一面扭轉、頓壓、推揉我的身體，慢慢地、什麼東西好像被打開了，長久以來故作的堅強、強忍的疼痛、執意的堅持，都和淚水一起狂飆出來，躺在那張黑色合成皮的整脊床上，我開始願意正視自己一直否認的這個部份。 At first I laughed at his misdiagnosis. He continued naggingly,"You always think you're right, persisting in your own ways, regardless of what others say," while his hands skillfully pushed and pulled my body around. Gradually, something seemed to get opened. The long-held toughness, long-endured pain and long-insisted ways in my body were all of a sudden released with tears trickling down my face. Lying on top of the black synthetic leather surface of the chiropractic bed, I began to recognize the part of me that I had long denied to see.
他說我的身體很爛，還做瑜珈，我心裡明白，要不是因為瑜珈，我的人生早就東倒西歪不知道哪裡去了。He sort of scornfully said how I could possibly be doing yoga and still be in such poor health. Within, I knew clearly that were it not for yoga, my health would have been in much worse shape.
走出他的診所時，我的心很舒暢，原來身體的疼痛、扭曲、歪斜不是缺憾，而是紀錄我人生歷程的生命之書裡的字句，裡頭藏著許多寶貴的線索，只要我願意去看、去解讀，就能有所學習與獲得。When leaving his clinic, my heart felt lightened at the realization that all the pain, distortion and misalignment in my body are NOT defects. They are words inscribed in the book detailing the events of my entire life. Hidden within them are the clues that will help me learn invaluable lessons, as long as I am willing to read and to decipher them.
這堂課正好在天蠍座的新月夜晚，天蠍座是個尋求真相的星座，它啟示我們帶著慈悲、正視自己長久以來製造的謊言與假象，用澄澈的理解引導出內在的力量，超越恐懼、不安，將負面模式轉化為正向生活的意圖。This class happened to be at the night of the new moon in Scorpio. Scorpio is the sign that seeks deep truth. It inspires us to compassionately look at the lies and illusions we have been fabricating in our lives. With clear comprehension, we can draw power from within to go beyond fear and insecurity, and to transform our negative patterns into the intention of positive living.
為了伴隨這個新月的能量，我在課堂結尾選擇了Gobinday Mukanday，一首代表神的陰性能量、超越生死的本質的咒語 To go along with the new moon energy in Scorpio, at the end of class, we chanted Gobinday Mukanday, a mantra of deathlessness, embodying the feminine power of God：
Ｇｏｂｉｎｄａｙ Ｍｕｋａｎｄａｙ Ｕｄａａｒａｙ Ａｐｐａｒａｙ
Ｈａｒｉａｎｇ Ｋａｒｉａｎｇ Ｎｉｒｎａｍａｙ Ａｋａａｍａｙ
「維持者， 解放者， 助人覺悟者， 無限的，
破壞者， 創造者， 無名的， 無欲的。」
"Sustainer, Liberator, Enlightener, Infinite,
Destroyer, Creator, Nameless, Desireless."
天蠍座新月的夜晚，我們讓一部分的自己死亡，然後重生。At the new moon in Scorpio, we let part of us die and get reborn.